Saturday, March 22, 2014


          If you’re as old and I, and were born in the Dark City, you can remember when there were no vultures. We had, however, a whole nomenclature for them, which some say is why the vultures came. Others contend that we were simply saving time, knowing that the vultures would come. Fidicula was the word for a falling vulture, which was, and is, entirely different from mestapho, a rising vulture. A falling vulture is reputed to be a creature of supernal wisdom and generosity. Unfortunately, no vulture can remain fidicula very long without crashing, in which case one no longer refers to it as fidicula but as morbismo, which loosely translates to “that mass of bloody feathers on the ground there which used to be a vulture.

          The vultures aren’t a problem, just a puzzle. Most of the time they’re neither fidicula or mestapho, but simply pernal, which requires them to wear small hats and hang out in bars, drinking cherry schnapps and trying to borrow money from strangers. A few are resistasius, and work in the garment trade.

          Research is normally done in the Dark City by interviewing cats. The cats, however, are evasive on the subject. Some deny that there are any vultures in the City; others say that they are the City’s karma, which decided to grow wings and live on road kill. Still others simply sneer at the question. No cat has given the same answer about vultures twice, and no one is foolish enough to ask a cat the same question three times.

Note: I am pleased to note that this blog has been conjured up in Germany 15 times. If you're one of the Germans out there -- perhaps the only one who reads this? -- send me a comment. Or, if you're French, tell me why you're not reading this.

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