One of the joys
of operating a blog – even an unread one – is that the editorial whee! becomes
allowable. Thus: “We wish everyone a happy Valentine’s Day,” or “We are pleased to announce that the blog has
adopted its first saint:”
"Little is known
of St. Crescentia" says the footnote
And why would a footnote lie to me?
It goes on to explain that it is thought her death
Was once recorded on a tumulus near Paris.
This is the 21st century, though; the internet
Will tell me what the footnote cannot.
Crescentia, I learn, was St. Vitus' nanny
And is now deemed fictitious. Vitus, however
Remains the patron saint of actors, dancers, comedians
And epileptics. He protects against oversleeping ,
Animal attacks and being struck by lightning.
He is also the patron saint of Bohemia.
All very well, even fascinating, and I will surely
Invoke good St. Vitus the next time I am attacked
By an animal during a thunderstorm
Or if I worry lest a Czech dancer oversleep.
But back to Crescentia, who is obviously
The Moon, early or late in her month.
She will be this blog's patron.
Also the patron of things that wax and wane
Or are reborn after vanishing altogether.
If I had made the Moon a saint -- even if it was after
A long night of drinking -- not lightly
Would I evict her from my calendar.
And why would a footnote lie to me?
It goes on to explain that it is thought her death
Was once recorded on a tumulus near Paris.
This is the 21st century, though; the internet
Will tell me what the footnote cannot.
Crescentia, I learn, was St. Vitus' nanny
And is now deemed fictitious. Vitus, however
Remains the patron saint of actors, dancers, comedians
And epileptics. He protects against oversleeping ,
Animal attacks and being struck by lightning.
He is also the patron saint of Bohemia.
All very well, even fascinating, and I will surely
Invoke good St. Vitus the next time I am attacked
By an animal during a thunderstorm
Or if I worry lest a Czech dancer oversleep.
But back to Crescentia, who is obviously
The Moon, early or late in her month.
She will be this blog's patron.
Also the patron of things that wax and wane
Or are reborn after vanishing altogether.
If I had made the Moon a saint -- even if it was after
A long night of drinking -- not lightly
Would I evict her from my calendar.
One of the perks of being
a saint is the ability to bilocate – be in two places at the same time. Thus,
St. Crescentia , in addition to protecting this blog, will be available at
surprisingly reasonable rates to other blogs, weddings, feasts and cameo
appearances in dreams.
Ah, and congratulations to you sir, for bilocating into real and virtual twins. And I'm having a dickens of a time telling you two apart!
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