LOVE LETTERS

For a reasonable fee Francis Birkenhead
Composed and wrote out love letters
In a smooth flowing Chancelry hand;
For a bit more, he'd make them rhyme.

On slow days he might offer to add an air
Of manly candor or maidenly reserve
At little or no extra charge.
Being poor, he could rarely afford
To hire himself for high quality work;
The women he loved received
Laundry lists, fraudulent resumes,
And incomprehensible instructions
For building either a boat or an elephant.