Monday, September 19, 2016


In a strongly-worded communique
Eight leading religions and the Apple Corporation
Have expressed doubt about God's recent decision
To manifest Himself as a posse of high school girls.
"While we continue to venerate and revere You,"
The statement begins, "we must admit we are troubled
By Your appearing among us as seven girls
Mattawan High School. With the greatest respect, Lord,
Are You out of Your Mind?" At a press conference,
Shondanique Davies, who has emerged as spokesman
For the collective God, commented "Whatever."
She admitted there were some problems in adjusting
To being a collective Supreme Deity. "Rhonda,
For example. She needs to make up her mind:
In or out? One day she's everyone's best friend
And the next she walks by like We're not even there."
Rhonda Jacobson has been unavailable for comment
While she studies for her exam in World History II.

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