STILL MORE ON THE SUBJECT OF YETIS

Yetis were created at 4:37 p.m. on the sixth day
When, if there'd been any about, a blue thread
Couldn't have been told from a green one.
(As a tailor's grandson I have a hereditary interest
In threads and spools, bobbins, spindles, needles,
And angels dancing on the heads of pins.)
If -- pray note I am too polite to say "when" --
The human race doesn't work out
Yetis are meant to come down from the mountains
And, apparently, set up small businesses
Or find work as butlers, buskers and busboys.
The Book of Yeti's text may be corrupt, though;
And this not be the plan at all.

FIX-IT

My grandfather Joe could tell why a watch had stopped
By winding it, holding it to his ear and then tapping it --
Three precise taps. After this, the diagnosis:
A bit of grit in a cog wheel or a broken spring
Or a simple desire for attention. He'd ask for a tool --
A needle, say, or a butter-knife or a drop of oil --
Which always proved to be the right one. If people
Had been watches, he and his older daughter
Would've gotten along quite splendidly.

Zvei Max

Ways to tell my grandfather Max from Max the Emperor:

My grandfather is the one who was never

Duke of Carinthia nor of Brabant, Lorraine, Styria,

Limburg, Carniola, Luxembourg, or Gelderland.

He wasn’t the Landgrave of Alsace either

Nor, no matter how much you pleaded, could he

Have made you a margravine, a herzog or even a graf

On the other hand, if you wanted a warm coat

Applying to the Emperor would have been useless;

The man couldn’t even thread a needle!

Further:

The Emperor is the one whose mother

Did not give him a tallis bag when he was thirteen;

My grandfather, in return,never gave Henry VIII

A helmet with rams horns and spectacles;

I suppose this makes them even.

As to ghosts, the Emperor saw more than a few

My grandfather, I believe, only knew one. Maybe two.