Too much evidence points to my being
Myself; it makes me suspicious.
Who's being protected? Who might
Be framing me, whoever I am?
Having little money, I can't retain
Philip Marlowe or Kinsey Milhone;
Lord Peter Wimsey works for free
But finds my case uninteresting.
The best I can afford to hire
Is Curious George who, it turns out,
Might be a very decent detective
If he'd stop having ludicrous adventures
Involving machinery or balloons and wasn't
So easily distracted by pieces of ripe fruit.
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