Monday, March 20, 2017


As was the custom, his heart was buried
Beneath the altar, his head under the path
Leading to the vestry, his bones
Boiled clean of flesh and sold separately
As souvenirs. His soul was placed
In a jar, with the lid screwed on tight.
The usual prayers were said in Latin,
Dutch, Cornish, Flemish and Erse
And then recited backwards in Pig-Latin,
English, Spanish and a vague Ugaritic patois
Specially cobbled up for the occasion.
You will, accordingly, understand
That, pursuant to the Peace of Westphalia,
The Geneva Convention, Hoyle’s Book of Games,
And the Rule in Shelley’s Case, your client
Lacks standing to be haunting our chambers
Or to be bringing other ghosts after midnight
To make confetti of our files. Also, we demand
That he forthwith cease all attempts at seducing
Personnel above the rank of senior associate

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