RELATIVE

Due to circumstances not likely to be repeated

My mother had, by a five to four vote,

Become God. Technically, this made me

The Son of God. Unfortunately, no salary

Or other perks came with the title. It took weeks

To even get an appointment with Her

Working my way through a phalanx

Of divine relatives. My sister,

The Daughter of God, was busy destroying

Small, barely inhabited planets. Word was

She was in training to oversee

Galaxy-spanning disasters. My grandfather,

The Father of God, was sympathetic

But said she'd never listened to him

Even before she was God. Saint Florence,

The First Cousin of God and Her Secretary,

Finally penciled me in for a late lunch meeting

My mother seemed distracted. She thanked me

For being less troublesome than my brother,

The Older Son of God -- the Village Atheist

For several small Southern towns  -- but said

There were no immediate plans to allow me

The power to perform miracles. Equally,

The forging of nails to crucify me

Had been postponed to an indefinite date.

As I left, Florence gave me a souvenir pen

And a cellophane-wrapped piece of infinity.