Portunalis was the god
Of keys. Or, some say,
Of harbors or gates
Or perhaps the warehouses
Where the Romans kept wheat.
There's no record of anyone
Ever praying to him nor
Sending him thanks for
A found key or because
Their stored wheat stayed dry.
Forget about sacrifices! His flamen --
The Flamen Portunalis --
Had only one job which was
Once a year to ceremonially grease
The weapons held by a statue
Of Quirinus, a more important god.
That a poem's now been comissioned
For Portunalis puzzles me but,
Though I write poems, I don't know
Why most of them are written.
