IN HELL

Hell endures but its patience
Does not. Wearied of Dante
And his poking about, some
Of the more creative devils
Ran up a good imitation
Of Purgatory for him to see
And then outdid themselves, making
A Paradise rather like the one
They remembered in the hope
That he'd be satisfied and
Go back to Florence. Alas,
The demon playing Beatrice
Fell in love with Ba'al, whose God
Won raves from all the critics
In Hell (insert here joke
Referencing number of critics
In Hell). Both of them at last
Had to be exiled to Heaven.

SAINT OF EXILES

St. Marina, patron of exiles and peasants,
Is irate that Gelasius called her apocryphal
"So what if I was once a sea goddess?
Next to no one worshipped me.
I admit I was eaten by a dragon; but that
Was such a long time ago. I was young and looked
Delicious. It could have happened to anyone."

EXILES, PEASANTS AND A DRAGON

Saint Margaret of Antioch, patron of exiles,

Peasants, the dying and the falsely accused,

Is recognized by her attribute: a dragon,

Either on a leash or draped over her shoulder.

When they are not posing for pictures –

Which they have not done now for years –

The dragon often wanders on his own.

Pope Gelasius called Margaret apocryphal

But it didn't stick. In his cups, the dragon

Insists Gelasius is apocryphal.

He has told Anthony's pig that, sometimes,

He thinks of Margaret as his attribute;

Occasionally he eats one of her peasants.

MORE SAINTS

When they meet for softball games
St. Margaret of Antioch fields a team
Of exiles, the dying, and peasants
Against Margaret of Cortona's
Hobos, the insane and third children.
Cortona's retired prostitutes sit on the sidelines
Chatting with the falsely accused of Antioch.
Cortona has lost six times in a row
But this year has an insane southpaw
Who is master of the screwball pitch.