WITH REGRET

According to Georges Dumezil
A flamen dialis may not touch dogs
Nor she-goats, ivy, beans or raw meat;
Neither can he name them. Beans
I can live without and raw meat but dogs
Would surely run after me
Laughing at my inability to shout
"Dogs are chasing me!" And what
If she-goats come to me for advice?
"I cannot talk to you any more;
I have become the flamen dialis"
Cuts no ice with a she-goat.
(This problem with she-goats
May be why there's been no flamen dialis
For the last two thousand years.)
I admit I might enjoy freeing prisoners
And tossing their chains to the street
From my impluvium once I've found out
What an impluvium is. I am flattered
But still must decline your offer.