TURNS

St. Phocas, the encyclopedia says,
May have been a gardener. Then again,
He may have been a bishop who didn't know
A mangel-wurzel from a maple tree
A third school suspects he was a seal.
Perhaps all the theories are correct
And the three work shifts. If you've a mind
To pray to him, check his schedule.
It's no use asking a seal for help
Because aphids are eating your roses;
Even you throw bits of raw fish to him
Bishop Phocas won’t perform tricks.