BLUEBEARD'S CAT

The part of the story they leave out

Is that just before the latest bride

Can touch the forbidden doorknob

The ghost of Dr. Erwin Schrödinger appears

Saying “For God’s sake, Miss, don’t!

According to my calculations

(And my cat has checked the numbers

Three times and a half)

Until you open that door

All former brides are alive and not alive

Murdered and not murdered.

More than that, all of them

Have written best-selling novels

Some of them have written best-selling novels

None of them even knows how to write

Except Mary-Lou, who pens the occasional feuilleton.

Until you open that door

They have all made ground-breaking discoveries

And none of them has, though Mary-Lou

Has built her own clock-radio.

Leave the door alone and you’ll be so happy

That God will wonder at it

Saying ‘I never made her

To be so happy as all that!’

While being so sad you’ll not go out

In daylight lest the heart of the world

Break into pieces too small and jagged

Ever to be put back together,

And all the other brides

Who will live and not live at the same time

Will be so happy, so sad

Except Mary-Lou. There’s no predicting Mary-Lou.”

But the bride doesn’t listen

And Schrödinger wishes he had stayed home

Sending his cat – a persuasive animal – instead.