OF COURSE YOU KNOW THIS MEANS

"John Heygate -- later to achieve notoriety as the man who eloped with Evelyn Waugh's first wife ..."

Orwell, by D.J. Taylor

Ah yes, and, for a brief while, we all thought

A new road to fame had shined suddenly open!

Jasper Mendez-Pinto got decent press coverage

When he eloped with Evelyn Waugh's second wife

But Hector Ffinch III got barely a mention

For eloping with the third, despite his having died

At least three years before their flight.

It is thought that Evelyn Waugh's fifth and sixth wives

Eloped with each other; so little attention was paid

That this is uncertain. In desperation, Evelyn Waugh

Eloped with his seventh wife. This was dismissed

As a mere publicity stunt. After that, of course,

Things went downhill. When Evelyn Waugh's twelfth wife

Tried eloping some while before they were married,

The Rules Committee made her go back and run off properly.

There is reason to believe that Evelyn Waugh's fifteenth wife

Was spurious, his sixteenth a typographical error

And his eighteenth fashioned mostly of bakelite.

Closure came with Evelyn Waugh's twenty second wife

Who was, of course, John Heygate. As far as I know

The match was a happy one.