PROCEDURE

As was the custom, his heart was buried

Beneath the altar, his head under the path

Leading to the vestry, his bones

Boiled clean of flesh and sold separately

As souvenirs. His soul was placed

In a jar, with the lid screwed on tight.

The usual prayers were said in Latin,

Dutch, Cornish, Flemish and Erse

And then recited backwards in Pig-Latin,

English, Spanish and a vague Ugaritic patois

Specially cobbled up for the occasion.

You will, accordingly, understand

That, pursuant to the Peace of Westphalia,

The Geneva Convention, Hoyle’s Book of Games,

And the Rule in Shelley’s Case, your client

Lacks standing to be haunting our chambers

Or to be bringing other ghosts after midnight

To make confetti of our files. Also, we demand

That he forthwith cease all attempts at seducing

Personnel above the rank of senior associate